Geography is basically the dirt you are standing on, standing above, floating over or flying over right now. This dirt has a name (not the mineral makeup) – it could be named the United States, it could be named Canada, it could be the Pacific Ocean, and yes it could be North Korea.
Back to America, despite what Barack Obama (Black American’s answer to White Americans Alfred E. Newman) basically said, “I have visited 57 states”. I think he wandered a bit and made a faux pax and was probably thinking about the 57 states of the Islamic federation. Something he shouldn’t be aware of being a Chicago Christian in the same chuch for 20 years. You may be able to see a video of Obama saying this at the DNC ( www.democrats.org ) web site (search for it, but I doubt it is their site). You can find it at this site if no luck on the DNC site.
The last map of the U.S. I saw recently only had 50 states. The 49th floated way up to the northwest due to global warming causing it to break away from Washington state. I believe it was an awkward Jet Stream coming out of Washington, DC that caused this part of the country to break off and float away. Russia found it and instead of giving it back to us they in turn sold it to us. The 50th state floated west out into the Pacific due to more global warming as 8 chunks of ice caps breaking off from Oregon. I was surprised when I noticed there were no blue states and red states like the biased media has been brainwashing the general public in America. This map was most green and it was titled “UNITED STATES”. For those of you that skipped geography in school, the U.S. started out as 13 states. Someone I used to know, Marmaduke Spurgeon, probably didn’t like the number 13 and evidentially wrote several representatives a scroll of complaints and told them “let’s move on to 14, I don’t like black cats either.” If Obama had not refused to wear a flag lapel pin and place his hand over his heart as the national anthem was played, maybe he could have looked down and counted the 50 stars on the flag which represent the 50 states of America.
People, lets get something straight here when it comes to geography. Fact: Canada is north of the U.S. (or UP for a simpler way of saying it). Fact: Mexico is south of the U.S. (or DOWN for the pacifists out there). There are rumors that Mexico now wants a fence between them and the U.S. to keep doltish Americans out of their country. They want to progress (go forward) instead of digressing (going backwards).
Hints On What Oceans Flank America
Here is a simple way of knowing which oceans the U.S. is surrounded by. A large number of pacifists live on the west coast (clustered in California, Oregon and Washington state). They are sometimes know as the left over “hippies”. Remember pacifists live on the Pacific Ocean – the LEFT coast. God put up a big mountain chain to keep that flock separated from the rest of his flock to the east, but it seems to be flowing over eastwardly. Now, if we look at the RIGHT side of the U.S. map we see where the Atlantic Ocean is located. This area of the country there is a well known city called Atlanta, Georgia. Remember, Atlantians live on the Atlantic Ocean. Now every one should know the oceans that flank the U.S. I will not be giving you a test -only your friends someday sitting around discussing geography.
That Other Body Of Water
Lets not leave out the Gulf of Mexico on the map. Scientist say it was made by a giant meteor that struck that part of North America. The large crater filled up with water and is now called the Gulf of Mexico. There are rumors that aliens were surfing that meteor when it hit the earth and they all were thrown in the area of California – its just a rumor.
Now lets learn where the Gulf of Mexico is located. Imagine you are in a canoe (not pronouced “ca-no-ee”, but “ca-new”), the one that looks like it doesn’t know its frontend from its backiend. Native Americas used them extensively if they lived near water. OK, you are in the Atlantic Ocean off southern tip of Miami (Floriduhcuba – used to be Florida) and you row west (going LEFT on a U.S. map) around the last stretch of sand and dirt in Floriduhcuba (Key West, Florida). If you will look at a U.S. map, it’s those little skinny chain of islands trying to get away from the Miami area.
Now STOP rowing and look to your right (hold out your right arm and point) – this is (Floriduhcuba (Florida). Now look to your left (hold out your left arm and point) – this is Cuba. You do not want to wander over there – something about a time warp going on that tiny island. A place where a 1956 Chevrolet is the newest automobile within 90 miles. Now pick up your oar and continue rowing west until you get really, really tired. Now you are in the Gulf of Mexico. You left the Atlantic Ocean and now you are in the Gulf. Since you are in a canoe, Cancun, Mexico is on your left (where Americans go on vacation to get away from the US’s illegals problem. Remember Cancun (as in Cancunians – population approx. 33,273) live and play on the beaches on the LEFT and America (as in Americans – population 300,000,000 (300 million and still aborting – and the government is losing count) live and play on the beaches on the RIGHT (Florida, Alabama, Mississippi, Louisiana and Texas shorelines. You know – those coastal dwellers that keep getting blown away year after year, year after year , year after year and they keep moving back to do it all over again at the inlanders expense.
If I were elected president I would give everyone living within 25 miles of the ocean 30 years to clear out (get out of town). Using “Imminent Domain”. Then I would make all coast lines a Federal Access Park stretching 25 miles inward in all states bordering the Atlantic Ocean and the Gulf of Mexico from Virginia to Texas. The national guard would pull 2 week rotations in the park to keep them safe and it would be their training grounds a well. They could train to do remedial things like “GUARD OUR SHORES”. This would include hotels, motels, businesses and homes. The Native American Indians knew better than to live on the beaches. They only visited the coast to catch fish and gather food and then return to their villages built on safer grounds. Like President Bush said in a speech, “fool me once, shame on — shame on you. Fool me — you can’t get fooled again.”
Those Confusing U.S. Rivers
Just because the river’s name is Tennessee River, doesn’t mean it is in Tennessee. That only means it originated in Tennessee. So when you look at a map and you see a river (e.g. Arkansas River goes through Kansas – Toto, we’re going through Kansas now).
A word of caution… if you live down stream on a river (w-a-y, w-a-y down stream) you may want to move (see my 3pt. text disclaimer). Because all the people up stream are polluting your drinking water something terrible. If you only knew what man is dumping into our clean God given waters. Now, if you get upset because this describes your water – you may want to be active in riding U.S. Rivers and streams of pollution and write your representatives. Now you may be like a lot of today’s mislead Americans (MISCANS) – “I don’t care ‘cause I drink soda and beer, why else would they come in flavors and colors -duh.” Personally, I am not pushing extreme pollution control here – just START cleaning up our environment and set a goal that is reasonable instead of causing judicial joblessness, price increases, shortages and shut downs ( JJPISS ).
Everyone should at least know the 8 major rivers in the U.S. They are: Columbia, Colorado, Missouri, Brazos, Rio Grande, Mississippi, Ohio and St. Lawrence. The acronym to help you remember these 8 U.S. major rivers is: “Lawrence, Oh Mi, Miss Columbia’s Grande Bra ColorS”.
America’s lower 48 states has two major mountain ranges, the largest is on the Western part of the U.S. map (Rocky Mountains) or to those that don’t know directions (<– that way) and the medium range mountains are on the Eastern part – Appalachian Mountains (that way –>). Think of it as comparing Rocks & Apples. There are lots of rocks on the Rocky Mountains and lots of apples on the Appalachian Mountains. Say it again “Rocks & Apples.” By the way “Appalachian” is pronounced Ap-pa-lay-chin.
Speaking of GEOGRAPHY, here is an example of one type of secret donor LIBERAL (donor code name Olive Oil) who probably donated to and supported Obama’s LAND-o-CHANGE. See tilted and leaning left actress Joan Collins do the weather.
(to be continued ‘As The World Turns’ and changes)